There’s never a easy way to explain to someone how much you truly loved them but still had to walk away.
For the last three weeks I wake up thinking about the same things every morning
• what will this new school be like
• will it be wonderful as i think & a bigger success than lander
• Am i goin to have enough stuff for this apartment
• I get scared for a minute
• then i get hella nervous thinking about it
• think about my goin away party
• wish i could tell my ex goodbye in person ( even thou its weird, i still wanted to say goodbye in person, not through some msg)
• How can i make more money
• I just hope today doesn’t suck
• I need to buy some bud
I still have nightmares about my ex.
I don’t know if its cause I miss him, or because things just still feel unsettling…regardless, i hate it.
Oneday everything changes.
That bedroom that you were always in no longer exist
Your no longer confined to those walls, or the comfy bed you spent so many days and nights sleeping in.
That house that you spent so many day pulling up to, walking in and out of, going past room by room, doing your miscellaneous things.
You forget exactly what the tint of the walls were, were you left your marks, and were kept your favorite things.
Your friends, the ones you saw on daily bases. The ones you got to know. The friends you made countless memories with, and the endless talks and big and small adventures you went on with. The ones that shared pieces of there world with you.
The person you thought you were in love with. The one you’d lay beside in bed and spend time just looking at them, sharing hours of conversation and kisses with. The one you thought you could imagine countless scenarios of living a forever life with.
The small job you felt like you’d never leave. The one you spent so many of your days at. The one that became part of your endless routine. Where you knew your coworkers and you got to know the ends and outs of this job.
The school you spent so many days praying “can this finally be over with”. Where you knew the routine, you knew the schedule and were you decided was school really for you.
The person you looked at in the mirror so many times at day in and day out. Often not looking up twice, to even take a a real deep look at. Not noticing how you was changing all along.
It was all changing and you couldn’t even see it. The things that were apart of your daily life wouldn’t last forever. And oneday you’d be old just trying to remember and wishing to be put back in just one day of your simple everyday life. We don’t think much about all the small things around us when were young. Everyday is a memory that were creating that we’ll one day look back on. So enjoy everyday and take a deep look at things and take it as it is.